I have been having a lot of nightmares recently. I wake up with cold sweats half way through the night after a frightening episode. Some times I wake up early enough in the new day, to just stay away and start my day in an effort to chase the monsters of sleep away. Last night, though, I was not so fortunate. I forced myself to go back to sleep at 2:00 in the morning hoping to find some refuge only to be taken over by another nightmare. The first one is vivid, while the other has since faded away.
I was in an elevator with two other persons. My instincts portray them as men, but they could have very well been women. Let’s just say they were men. We all went in at the same time, and pushed our call buttons respectively. I was going down to the bottom floor, one was going two floors down and the last one pushed two floor numbers, including floor number 10 as he apologized “I am sorry but I am not going to 10.”
His statement sounded strange but I thought nothing of it. Then suddenly the lights in the elevator went out, and the sound of a single gun shot rang between the walls as the doors of the elevator opened and then closed at floor number 10. No one stepped on board, and no one left. The lights returned. And the elevator continued its journey down.
Someone had died in that instant. One of the three was dead. Was it me? Was it the person who had fired the gun? Was it the third by stander? Which of the other two had fired the gun? And why? We were all still standing in the same spots we had taken just minutes ago. No one was bleeding. No one was faltering. And yet someone was no longer living. Did that person know they were dead? How does one know that they had died? Would I know it if I was the dead person? How can I tell? Does a dead person know they died? Do they realize they no longer are? That they have vanished from existence? That they are past? That they are not breathing, their blood not flowing? Or do they carry on like before? Do they keep walking amongst the living, going out their business like those who live on?
When I die, how would I know I died? How do I grasp that my heart has stopped beating? That my suffering has ended? That my brain has rested? How do I know to leave this world? Do I get summoned? Do I get a message? Do I actually leave this world when I die? Do I transcend it and watch from above at what is happening below? Is it all a “let’s play pretend” game? A myth? A tale? A lie?
The living know the dead are dead, do the dead know it?